EMINEM
SLIM SHADY LP

My Fault

SLIM SHADY LP

2. My Name Is

Slim Shady Lp Song: My Name Is

Chorus: repeat 2X Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)

My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady

Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)

My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me!

Can I have the attention of the class

for one second? [Eminem]

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)

Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)

Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)

My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight

but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)

And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"

Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"

Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else

Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt

Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off

And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross

I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass

faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast

C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)

I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off! Chorus [Eminem]

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high

Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five

I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler

and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up

Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup

Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians

in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"

Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to

I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)

I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper

Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)

You know you blew up when the women rush your stands

and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph

(Dude, can I get your autograph?)

So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!' Chorus [Eminem]

Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)

Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!

I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)

I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive

(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide

I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)

All my life I was very deprived

I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide

(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)

I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)

YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)

I lay awake and strap myself in the bed

Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)

I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)

And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)

Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had Chorus

TOPO

3.Guilty Conscience

[announcer] Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store.

("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")

But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this") 

[Dr. Dre] Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence (But who are you?) I'm your motherfuckin conscience 

[Eminem] That's nonsense! Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade 

[Dr. Dre] Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you Think about it before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns 

[Eminem] Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre] Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!) Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!) Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you (You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..) {sound of static} ("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute") ("Mmm, I don't know!") ("Look baby..") ("Damn!") ("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?") ("Well OK..") 

[announcer] Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!") After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem] Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.. (Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair) Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!) Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there (Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?) No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest! (Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?) Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.. 

{sound of static} {pickup idling, radio playing} [announcer] Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man. ("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!") ("Grady!!") 

[Dr. Dre] Alright calm down, relax, start breathin.

[Eminem] Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!! 

[Dr. Dre] Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? (What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy [Eminem] Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre] What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?) I'ma kill you motherfucker! 

[Eminem] Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent? [Dr. Dre] Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

{gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired} 

TOPO

4.Brain Damage

[Doctor] Scalpel

[Nurse] Here

[Doctor] Sponge

[Nurse] Here

[Doctor] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!

[Nurse] Ah!

[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!

[Nurse] Oh my! Oh my God!

[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!

[Nurse] Oh my God!
[Eminem]

These are the results of a thousand electric volts

A neck with bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!"

A kid who refused to respect adults

Wore spectacles with taped frames and a freckled nose

A corny lookin white boy, scrawny and always ornery

Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies pickin on me

And I might snap, one day just like that

I decided to strike back and flatten every tire on the bike rack

(Whosssssh) My first day in junior high, this kid said,

"It's you and I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die"

I looked at my watch it was one twenty

"I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me?!?"

He said, "Don't try to run from me, you'll just make it worse..."

My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first

Something told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache it works"

I screamed, "Owww! My appendix feels like they could burst!

Teacher, teacher, quick I need a naked nurse!"

[N] "What's the matter?"

[E] "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!"

[N] "Leg?!? I thought you said it was your tummy?!?"

[E] "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee!"

[N] "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over.

And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework."

[E] "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?"

[N] "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him."
Chorus: repeat 2X
Brain damage, ever since the day I was born

Drugs is what they used to say I was on

They say I never knew which way I was goin

But everywhere I go they keep playin my song
[Eminem]

Brain damage..

Way before my baby daughter Hailey

I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey

An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes

so everyday he'd shove me in the lockers

One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin

And had me in the position to beat me into submission

He banged my head against the urinal til he broke my nose,

Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me and choked my throat

I tried to plead and tell him, "We shouldn't beef"

But he just wouldn't leave, he kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe

He looked at me and said, "You gonna die honkey!"

The principal walked in (What's going on in here?)

and started helpin him stomp me

I made them think they beat me to death

Holdin my breath for like five minutes before they finally left

Then I got up and ran to the janitor's storage booth

Kicked the door hinge loose and ripped out the four inch screws

Grabbed some sharp objects, brooms, and foreign tools

"This is for every time you took my orange juice,

or stole my seat in the lunchroom and drank my chocolate milk.

Every time you tipped my tray and it dropped and spilt.

I'm gettin you back bully! Now once and for good."

I cocked the broomstick back and swung hard as I could

and beat him over the head with it til I broke the wood

Knocked him down, stood on his chest with one foot..

.. Made it home, later that same day

Started reading a comic, and suddenly everything became gray

I couldn't even see what I was tryin to read

I went deaf, and my left ear started to bleed

My mother started screamin, "What are you on, drugs?!?

Look at you, you're gettin blood all over my rug!" (Sorry!)

She beat me over the head with the remote control

opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull

I picked it up and screamed, "Look bitch, what have you done?!?"

[M] "Oh my God, I'm sorry son"

[E] "Shut up you cunt!" I said, "Fuck it!"

Took it and stuck it back up in my head

then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck
Chorus
[Eminem]

Brain damage..

It's brain damage..

I got brain damage..

It's brain damage..

It's probably brain damage..

It's brain damage..

Brain damage..

I got brain damage..

TOPO

6.If I Had 

Life.. by Marshall Mathers

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle

put in front of your optical to slow you down

And everytime you think you gotten past it

it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they really your enemies, with secret indentities

and disguises, to hide they true colors

So just when you think you close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny

Money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around

swearing that they was always down

What is life?

I'm tired of life

I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committing so many sins

Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins

Tired of never having any ends

Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins

I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins

Tired of not having a deal

Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel

Tired of drowning in my sorrow

Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo

I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off

I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour

Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin off

I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough

Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk

for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk

I'm tired of using plastic silverware

Tired of working in Builders Square

Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor

Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store

I'm tired of not having a phone

Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have one on

Tired of not driving a BM

Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him

Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM

Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum

Tired of not being on tour

Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work

in the back of a Contour

I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones

Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

Tired of being stared at

I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat

Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz

Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs

Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me

saying they wasn't feeling me when nobody's as ill as me

I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs

Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

You know what I'm saying?

I'm tired of all of this bullshit

Telling me to be positive

How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?

Know what I'm sayin?

I rap about shit around me, shit I see

Know what I'm sayin?  Right now I'm tired of everything

Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city

Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?

But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?

Just fed up

That's my word

TOPO

8.97 Bonnie & Clyde

* this is the same lyrics as "Just the Two of Us" from his EP

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]

Baby your da-da loves you (hey)

And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens

You're all I got in this world

I would never give you up for nothin

Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me

I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach

Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat

Oh where's mama?  She's takin a little nap in the trunk

Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk

Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin

But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women

that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit

Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)

And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?

Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)

And mama said she wants to show how far she can float

And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat

It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin

dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt

Mama's messy isn't she?  We'll let her wash off in the water

and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell

A place called prison and a place called jail

And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one

Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson

And you don't want a brother do ya?  (Nah)

Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better

I'll explain it to ya

But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad

She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad

But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out

Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)

I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba? 

Take a night-night?  Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?

Her make goo-goo ca-ca?  Da-da change your dia-dee

Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty

Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water

Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway

we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier

Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea

Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)

That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry

Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake

Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock?  (yeah!)

We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock

Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..

One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE!  (whoooooshhhhh)

There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta

No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order

No more step-da-da, no more new brother

Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)

Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk

But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. (2X)

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]

Just me and you baby

is all we need in this world

Just me and you

Your da-da will always be there for you

Your da-da's always gonna love you

Remember that

If you ever need me I will always be here for you

If you ever need anything, just ASK

Da-da will be right there

Your da-da loves you

I love you baby

TOPO

9.Role Model

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself 

You can try this at home 

You can be just like me!

Mic check one two.. we recordin? 

I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus

I strangled you to death then I choked you again

Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin

You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally

Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally

I get you blunted off of funny home grown

Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono

(Ohh no!!)  So if I said I never did drugs

That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does

Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert

I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)

My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)

Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez

Follow me and do exactly what the song says:

smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink

And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill

Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill

But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist

How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave

Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

Now follow me and do exactly what you see

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole

When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold'

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold

Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!)

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt

I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer

That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh)

My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue

witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on

And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn

I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits

A premature birth that was four minutes late

Mother.. are you there?  I love you

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel

Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed

a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?

I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts

Cause if you ain't tiltin this room, neither am I

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass 

Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her

Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with

I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I've been with 10 women who got HIV

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree

You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!

TOPO

11.My Fault

* Eminem does the voices of all characters in the song *

[G] Eminem as Susan (the girl)

[D] Eminem as Dave

[J] Eminem as John

[R] Eminem as Ron

Chorus: repeat 2X {Eminem singing}

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl

I never meant to bring you to my world

Now you sitting in the corner crying

And now it's my fault my fault

[Eminem]

I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave

And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved

A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up

with first aid tape and raped on the first date

Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin

who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)

Told me she was goin back into usin again (Nah!)

I said, "Wait, first try this hallucinogen

It's better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin

C'mere, let's go in here"  *knocks on the door*

"Who's in the den?"

[R] "It's me and Kelly!"

"My bad, (sorry) let's try another room"

[G] I don't trust you!

"Shut up slut!  Chew up this mushroom

This'll help you get in touch with your roots

We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods

[G] Oh hell, I might as well try em, this party is so drab

"Oh dag!!"

[G] What?

"I ain't mean for you to eat the whole bag!"

[G] Huh?!

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" at the end

        2nd repeat same as original Chorus

"Yo Sue!"

[G] Get away from me, I don't know you

Oh shoot, she's tripping..

[G] I need to go puke!!  (Bleahh!)

I wasn't tryin to turn this into somethin major

I just wanted to make you appreciate nature

Susan, stop cryin, I don't hate ya

The world's not against you, I'm sorry your father raped you

So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth?

That ain't no reason to start wiggin and spaz out

She said,

[G] Help me I think I'm havin a seisure!

I said, "I'm high too bitch, quit grabbin my t-shirt"  (Let go!)

"Would you calm down you're startin to scare me"

She said,

[G] I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married

 I don't even have any kids and I can't cook

(Hello!) I'm over here Sue, (hi) you're talkin to the plant, look!

We need to get to a hospital 'fore it's too late 

Cause I never seen no-one eat as many shrooms as you ate

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "Whoops!" after first line

        and "It was an accident!" at the end

        2nd repeat same as original Chorus

Susan (wait!)  Where you goin?  You better be careful

[G] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of gettin my hair pulled

I'm not your dad, quit tryin to swallow your tongue

Want some gum?  Put down the scissors, 'fore you do somethin dumb

I'll be right back just chill baby please?

I gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these

"John, where's Dave at before I bash you?"

[J] He's in the bathroom; I think he's takin a crap dude!

"Dave!  Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance

There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants

choppin her hair off, and there's only two days left 

of Spring Break, how long do these things take to wear off?"

[D] Well it depends on how may you had

"I took three, she ate the other twenty-two caps

Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs, drinkin Lysol"

[D] She's gonna die dude

"I know and it's my fault!"

[D] My god!!!

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" after second line

        and "What do I do?" at the end

        2nd repeat same as original Chorus

My God, I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry!  Susan please wake up!

Please!  Please wake up!!  What are you doing?!

You're not dead!!  You're NOT dead!

I know you're not dead!  Oh my God!

Susan wake up!  Oh God...

TOPO

13.Cum On Everybody

[Girl] Hmm-hmm-hmhmhmmhm.. ahhh, whooooo!!  Shit

[Em] Yo, mic check

Testing one, two, um... twelve

(whattup whattup whattup.. Outsidaz)

[Em] This is my dance song (Outsidaz)

Can you hear me?

(Rah Digga, Pacewon, Young Zee)

[Em] Aight, ay turn my headphones up

(bust it bust it)

[Eminem]

My favoite color is red, like the blood shed

from Kurt Cobain's head, when he shot himself dead

Women all grabbin at my shishkabob

Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve

(I can't stand white people!)

You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so

Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat

I got a wardrobe with an orange robe {*wolf whistle*}

I'm in the fourth row, signin autographs at your show

(Yo can you sign this right here?)

I just remembered that I'm absent minded

Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it

I'm freestylin every verse that I spit

cause I don't even remember the words to my shit (umm, one two)

I told the doc I need a change in sickness

and gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis

Put my LP on your Christmas gift list

You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this

Cum on everybody -- get down tonight (8X)

[Eminem]

Yo.. yo yo yo yo

I tried suicide once and I'll try it again

That's why I write songs where I die at the end

Cause I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck

and I was wavin it at everybody screamin, "I suck"  (I SUCK!!!)

I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd

and yell out loud, "All y'all get the hell out now"

Fuck rap, I'm givin it up y'all, I'm sorry

(But Eminem this is your record release party!)

I'm bored out of my gourd -- so I took a hammer 

and nailed my foot to the floorboard of my Ford

Guess I'm just a sick sick bastard

who's one sandwich short of a picnic basket (I ain't got it all)

One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet

I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage

(ohhhhhhh)  And if you ever see a video for this shit

I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

Cum on everybody -- get down tonight (8X)

[Eminem]

Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit

Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy {*wolf whistle*}

So I told em I was Mike D

They was like, "Gee I don't know, he might be!"

I told em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert

I'll be standin by the Loch Ness Monster (okay) peace out (bye!!)"

Then I jetted to the weed house

Smoked out til I started bustin freestyles

Broke out then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick

Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick (*slurping*}

Made a couple of crank calls collect [*brrrrrrring, click*]

"Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?"

I wanna make songs all the fellas dub

And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of

So just remember when I bomb your set

Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

TOPO

14.Rock Bottom

Ah yeah, Yo!  

This song is dedicated to all the happy people

All the happy people who have real nice lives

And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck

Verse One:

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope

Without a circus net

I'm popping percasete

I'm a nervous wreck

I deserve respect

But I work a sweat for this worthless check 

Bout to burst this tech, at somebody to reverse this debt

Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged

Full of venom and rage

Especially when I'm engaged

And my daughter's down to her last diaper

That's got my ass hyper

I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer

Watching ballers while they flossing in their pathfinders

These overnight stars becoming autograph signers

We'll all gone blow up and leave the past behind us

Along with the small fry's and average half pinters

While playa haters turn bitch like they have vaginas

Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us

Money will brainwash you and leave your ass mindless

Snakes slither in the grass spineless

Chorus: repeat 2X

That's Rock Bottom

When this life makes you mad enough to kill

That's Rock Bottom

When you want something bad enough you'll steal

That's Rock Bottom

When you feel you have had it up to here

Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

Verse Two:

My life is full of empty promises

And broken dreams

I'm hoping things will look up

But there ain't no job openings

I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished

Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished

And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay

And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day

But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play

Cause when we die we know were all going the same way

It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan

When all you need is bucks to be the man

Plus a luxury sedan

Too comfortable and roomy in a six

They threw me in the mix

With all these gloomy lunatics

Walk around depressed

And smoke a pound of ses a day

And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today

My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play

Live half my life and throw the rest away

Chorus

There's people that love me and people that hate me

But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady

I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame

That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames

That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name

Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain

Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom

I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em

I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em

Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new locks on 'em

My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em

And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em

And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them

I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?

Cause I never went gold of one song

I'm running up on someone's lawns with guns drawn

Chorus

TOPO

15.Just Don't Give A Fuck

* the only difference is that the album version censors

  the line "raped the women's swim team" in the third verse

Intro: Frogg

Whoah!

A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em

and like, back and forth because ah

this is.. what you thought it wasn't

It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen

I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*

And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

Verse One: Eminem

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady

I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady

I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer

Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer

You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from

You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album

Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open

I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then

My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)

I have a disease and they don't know what to call it

Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash

Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass

Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin

You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson 

The proof is in the puddin, just ask the Shawn Holman

I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

Chorus:

So when you see me on your block with two glocks 

Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac

I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin

tellin your boys that I'm on crack

I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

So put my tape back on the rack

Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack

I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

But see me on the street and duck

Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed

Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

Verse Two: Eminem

I'm Nicer than Pete, but I'm on a Serch to crush a Miilkbone

I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone

I'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason

I'm colder than snow season when it's twenty below freezin

Flavor with no seasonin, this is the sneak preview

I'll diss your magazine and still won't get a weak review

I'll make your freak leave you, smell the Folgers crystals

This is a lyrical combat, gentlemen hold your pistols

But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles

Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!)

Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion

Pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion

The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic

Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict

Half animal, half man

Dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can

With more holes than an Afghan

Chorus

Verse Three: Eminem

Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!)

I'm a caged demon, on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine

I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinnin

Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion

Fuck droppin the jaw, I'm flippin the sacred treasure

I'll bite your motherfuckin style, just to make it fresher

I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches

Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washin dishes

In school I never said much, too busy havin a headrush

Doin too much rush had my face flushed like red blush

Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed

Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team

Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian

Too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again

I'm goin up over the curb, drivin on the median

Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in

Chorus

Outro: Eminem

Hey, fuck that!

Outsidaz..

Pace One..

Young Zee.

TOPO

17.As The World Turns

Chorus: Repeat 2X

I dont know why this world keep turning

Round and Round

But I wish it would stop, and let me off right now

Yes man

As the World Turns

We all experience things in life

Trials and Tribulations

That we all must go through

When someone wants to test us

When someone tries our patience

[Eminem]

I hang with a bunch of hippies

and wacky tobacco planters

Who swallow lit roaches

and light up like jack-o-lanterns

Outsiders baby, and we suing the courts

Cuz we're dope as fuck and only get a 2 in the source

They never should've booted me out of reform school

Deformed fool,takin a shit in a warm pool

They threw me out the Ramada Inn

I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!)

It all started when my mother took my bike away

Cuz I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave

After that, It was straight to the 40 ouncers

Slappin teachers, and jackin off in front of my counselors

Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman

Fuck the next lesson, I'll past the test guessin

And all the other kids said Eminem's a dishead,

He'll never last, the only class he'll pass is phys ed

May be true, till I told this bitch in gym class

That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed Slim Fast (Who Me?)

Yeah bitch you so big you walked into big Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig

She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig

Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig

I felt the evilness and started transformin (RARRRR!)

It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarming

Grabbed that bitch by her hair

Drug her across the ground

And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down

Sorry coach, its too late to tell me stop

While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop

Chorus

As the World Turns

These are the days of our lives

These are the things that we must go through

Day by day

[Eminem]

We drive around in million dollar sports cars

While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards

Outsiders, and we suing the courts

Cuz we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source

Hypercondriac, hanging out at the laundromat

Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at

Dressed like a sailor, standin by a pale of garbage

Its almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailor park bitch

I met a slut and said "What up, its nice to meet ya"

I'd like to treat ya to a Faygo and a slice of pizza

But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month

But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt

But I aint got no weed, no phillies, or no papers

Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist

So gimme all your money

And don't try nothin funny

Cuz you know your stinkin ass is too fat to try to outrun me

I went to grab my gun

Thats when her ass put it on me

Wit an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry

I fell through the glass doors

Started causin a scene

Then slid across the floor and flew right into a washin machine

Jumped up with a broken back

Thank god I was smokin crack all day

And doped up off coke and smack

All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse

Now I wanna kill her

But so I gotta catch her first

Ran through Rally's parkin lot and took a shortcut

Saw the house she ran up in

And shot her fuckin porch up

Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut

Looked around the room

Thats when I seen the bedroom door shut

I know you're in there bitch! I got my gun cocked!

You might as well come out now

She said "Come in, its unlocked!"

I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne

And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin gay porn

She said "Come her big boy, lets get acquainted"

I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it

She came at me at full speed, nothin could stop her

I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her

I started to beg "No, please let go"

But she swallowed my fuckin leg whole like an egg roll

With one leg left, now I'm hoppin around crippled

I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple

Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick

Den Den Den Den Den Den, Go go gadget dick!

Whipped that shit out, and aint no doubt about it

It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage

I shouted "Now bitch, lets see who gets the best!"

Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ahh!! Ahhh!)

Come here bitch!

Come here!

Take this motherfuckin dick!

Bitch, come here!

Chorus to fade

And as we go along

Throughout the days of our lives

We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday

That we must go through

These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere

Every day

Every single day the world keeps turning

TOPO

18.Im Shady

Who came through with two glocks to terrorize your borough (Huh?)

Told you how to slap dips and murder your girl (I did)

Gave you all the finger and told you to sit and twirl

Sold a billion tapes and still screamed fuck the world

(Slim Shady), so come and kill me while my name's hot

And shoot me twenty five times in the same spot (Ow)

Think I've got a generation brainwashed

To pop pills and smoke pot till they brains rot (Uh, oh?)

Stop they blood flow until they veins clot

I need a pain shot, and a shot of plain scotch

Purple haze and acid raindrops

Spike the punch at the party and drain pop (gulp gulp)

Shaved my armpits and wore a tank top

Bad Boy, I told you that I can't stop

Gotta make 'em fear you before you make 'em feel you

So everybody buy my shit or I'mma come and kill you

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets

I'm your brother when you need some new weed to set you free

You know me I'm your friend when you need a minithin

(Slim Shady)

I'm Shady

I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful (Uh huh huh)

I like birds, bees, I like people

I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful

Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool (Woo!)

The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike

While I blow my brain out just to see what it feels like

And this is how I am in real life

I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice (Uh huh)

How you wanna scare somebody with a gun threat

When they're high off of drugs they haven't even done yet

So bring the money by tonight

Cause your wife says this is the biggest knife 

She ever saw in her life (Help me help me)

I try to keep it positive and play it cool

Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school (Stay in school!)

Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better

Tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a fuck you letter

(chorus)

I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it (Aw that shit is wack)

Six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit (What????)

People don't buy shit no more they just dub it

That's why I'm still broke and had the number one club hit (Yup, uh huh)

But they love it when you make your business public

So fuck it, I've got herpes while we're on the subject (Uh huh)

And if I told you I had AIDS y'all would play it

Cause you stupid motherfuckers think I'm playing when I say it

Well, I do take pills, don't do speed

Don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed

Don't do smack, I do do shrooms

Do drink beer, I just wanna make a few things clear

My baby mama's not dead (nuh uh), she's still alive and bitching (yup)

And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itching

It's not syphilis, and as for being AIDS infested

I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

(chorus)

I told you I was Shady

Y'all didn't wanna believe me

I'm Shady

And that's my name

TOPO

19.Bad Meets Evil

[intro]

[Cowboy]

I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts

You know, there's a story behind that there saloon

Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over

Sheriffs couldn't stop em

Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen

Got murdered in cold blood

That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home

They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern

And on a quiet night

You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine

[Eminem]

I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet

I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat

I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph

And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head (AAHHH)

Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed

Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead

Told him each one of his boys is dead

I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

[Royce]

Who hard? yo I done heard worse

We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other

To see which one'll swerve first

Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds

That of a globe on top of nine other planets

Kissed the cheek of the devil

Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto

Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist

Intercepting missles wit my bare hands like a patriot

One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse

In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse

And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations

Collaborating, attemptin to take over the earth

[Eminem]

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil

We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal

Above the Law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me neither)

We ain't eager to be legal

So please leave me wit the keys to your Jeep Eagle

I breathe ether in three amounts

When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle

Releasin rage on anybody in squeezing range

Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain

(He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off

Cuz I can't find a decent vain

[Royce]

The disaster wit dreds

I'm Bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough

To kill my soul after I'm dead

When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter

Cuz I serve any stranger wit money

I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains

While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches

Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral

Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you

Whippin human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws 

Wit my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass

I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's

Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me

>From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche

And bust till volcanoes errupt

[interlude]

*phone rings*

Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get you)

STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

[Eminem]

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)

I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)

Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up

And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of

Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms

And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms

And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave

I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Royce] (Eminem)

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil

And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal

Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel

(We'll be waitin) See you in hell

Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady

See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)

Bad Meets Evil, what? (till next time)

[Cowboy]

And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil

Two of the most wanted individuals in the county

Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens

It's too bad they had to go out the way they did

Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon

But their spirits still live on till this day

Shhh...[spits] wait, did y'all hear that?

[Footsteps and windblowing]

TOPO

20.Still Don't Give A Fuck

[Eminem]

A lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death..

Hell yeah I'm afraid of death

I don't want to die yet

A lot of people think.. that I worship the devil..

that I do all types of.. retarded shit

Look, I can't change the way I think

And I can't change the way I am

But if I offended you?  Good

Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, stoppin a limo

Hopped in the window, shoppin a demo at gunpoint

A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?

Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this

Livin amuk, never givin a fuck

Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck

But I smoke dope in a cab

I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab

Come back the next week and re-open your scab (YEAH!)

A killer instinct runs in the blood

Emptyin full clips and buryin guns in the mud

I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once into drugs

I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz

My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn

The rest of my body's still bein operated on

I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin this rhyme

Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin this time

Chorus: 

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you

To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!

To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past

But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS

For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do

To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!

For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past

But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS

[Eminem]

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you

And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

I'll hang you til you dangle and chain you with both ankles

And pull you apart from both angles

I wanna crush your skull til your brains leaks out of your veins

And bust open like broken water mains

So tell Saddam not to bother with makin another bomb 

Cause I'm crushin the whole world in my palm

Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a firearm

So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb

Buy your mom a shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on

And the pants to match ("Here momma try em on")

I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives,

a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives

(Shittin on rappers)  Causin hospital accidents

God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again 

Chorus

[Eminem]

I wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it

Spend a million a track and went over my budget (Ohh shit!)

Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?

I can't rap anymore - I just murdered the alphabet

Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches

I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches

I don't rap to get the women - fuck bitches 

Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes

Never ran with a click - I'm a posse

Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me

From the second I was born, my momma lost me 

I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy

I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place 

My worst day on this earth was my first birthday

Retarded?  What did that nurse say?  Brain damage?

Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

Chorus

TOPO